How to explain I don’t like to be touched without disclosing abuse?

Children who grow up with abuse are not taught it’s okay to have boundaries. Another problem is that when we are small, parents often tell children, “Go give Mr. Henderson a hug,” or “Go sit in Grammy’s lap.” We are not asked, “Would you like to sit in Grammy’s lap?” This creates in us a feeling that we don’t have choices about who touches us. We are also taught not to hurt the feelings of others and be polite. This is especially so in dysfunctional families where the parent’s needs often trump over the child’s.

So how do you explain? It’s simple. Politely state what you like and what you don’t like. The hard part is fighting the feelings that come up when you set the boundary. Remind yourself that you have a right feel safe. You would want others to feel safe and if this person is someone who cares about you, they will be happy you stated what you needed.