Do I have to report sexual abuse that happened in the past?

Absolutely not.

There are many reasons survivors might not want to report their abuse. It may not be/feel safe emotionally or physically to do so. I have met with many survivors who disclosed their abuse to a family member and was not believed. This caused more trauma than the actual abuse. It often takes a while to feel safe enough to allow the memories to surface and finding the right people to tell is very important. Be kind to yourself and do talk about your pain and memories when the time is right for you. However, it is important to note that your healing will begin when you start talking about your abuse and discovering the lies you believe due to the trauma. For example, most survivors have thoughts such as, it was my fault, I’m stupid for allowing it, I should have run away, or I must have wanted it. These thoughts reflect a core beliefs that need to be challenged.

Also, the product of sexual abuse is usually intense shame. Healing from shame almost always requires safe and loving relationships. For me, it wasn’t until I began telling my secrets that healing began to occur. Discovering others would still love me, and find value in me, even after knowing about my abuse, was shocking. Now I think, duh!

I look at other survivors and have so much compassion for them and not an ounce of blame. Why did it take so long for me to see and feel that for myself? To me, the saddest part about sexual abuse is that the pain doesn’t end after the abuse is over. For many, it’s just the beginning.

You don’t have to report abuse, but I highly recommend you tell.